neBEZpečné BEZ

Žijeme v  době bezbřehé volnosti. Módní diktát nediktuje, ale blahosklonně říká: nos co chceš, móda je hra, nestresuj se. V obchodech je k dostání vše, záleží na momentální chuti či dlouhodobé preferenci. Informace proudí všude kolem nás. Máme svobodu slova a cestování. Co dřív bylo sexuální úchylkou, je dnes zajímavým zpestřením. Téměř nic nás nesvazuje, jen my sami své svobodě leckdy dobrovolně nasazujeme okovy.

Jsme „generací bez“ ….in je bezlepková dieta, bezfosfátové kypřící a prací prášky, raw potraviny bez tepelné úpravy, porody doma bez přítomnosti zdravotníků a vybavení nemocnic, vaříme bez soli a konzervantů, pijeme kafe bez kofeinu, navazujeme virtuální vztahy bez fyzického kontaktu….vlastně je až symbolické, že z dřeva bezu černého byl zhotoven kříž, na kterém zemřel Ježíš z Nazaretu. I my si s pomocí „bez“ tesáme ten svůj, který pak neseme na bedrech po svém životním turné.

Můj kříž měl název  „no poo“ (zkratka z anglického „no shampoo“, tedy bez šampónu). Zastánci této, skoro až filosofie, tvrdí, že šampóny a kondicionéry dlouhodobě zatěžují vlas i pokožku hlavy. Stačí čistá voda. Pravda, vlasy si na to zvykají tak 6-8 týdnů, kdy se různě mastí a nedrží tvar, ale ve finále nám je odměnou zářivá a bujná kštice. V  přechodném období zvykání si, se pak doporučuje použít místo šampónu směs žitné hladké mouky (2 lžíce) a jablečného octu (pár kapek).

Jsem konzervativec. Pro mě je už adrenalin zavázat si nejprve levou a až pak pravou botu. Tohle jsem ale chtěla zkusit. Poslala jsem tedy Martina s dětmi na dopoledne do plaveckého bazénu. Ve sprchovém koutu si namočila vlasy, nanesla na ně mouku s jablečným octem, vmasírovala směs  ke kořínkům. Po 5ti minutách chtěla vše následně vymýt. Ale ouha. Netekla voda. Zčistajasna. Doufala jsem, že nám jen blbne sprcha a v relativním klidu zkusila kohoutek u umyvadla v koupelně…tam tekl slabý proud. V kuchyni chrčel a crčel pramínek rezavé. To už mi začínalo být horko. Běžela jsem k internetu a našla si stránky SČVK. Bylo to tam….v lokalitě Broumovská nepoteče z důvodu havárie voda od 9.00 do 13.00 h. Hodiny ukazovaly 9.10

Bylo mi jasné, že je třeba jednat okamžitě. Do všech různých nádob jsem nechávala vykapat poslední zbytky vody (vyhnané tlakem do vodovodních kohoutků) a ty vzápětí ohřívala v rychlovarné konvici (tou dobou tekla již jen studená). Byla jsem tak netrpělivá, až jsem si na hlavu nalila vodu poněkud vroucí. Bolest byla velká, ale podružná….nevěřili byste totiž, co horká voda udělá s žitnou moukou. Ve vlasech mi vzniklo zdrcnuté cosi, co nešlo vymýt. Natož v tom drtku vody, co jsem měla k dispozici. V této chvíli šly zábrany stranou. Brala jsem již vše. Oslazený čaj, co nechaly děti na stole po snídani, vodu z vázy…bylo 10,05

Nasadila jsem si čepici, vlasy pečlivě schovala pod ní a vyrazila do místních potravin pro vodu v lahvích. Vyprodáno. To už se můj klidný zenový přístup k celé situaci počal zvolna měnit v hysterii.  Nasedla jsem do auta a jela do Lídlu…postavila se spořádaně na konec dlouhatánské fronty. Stála jsem tam věčnost. Hlava se mi pod zimní čepicí potila. Brzy se kolem mě začalo šířit zajímavé aroma. Něco mezi staročeským kyselem a dekoracemi z Vizovického těsta. Mouka v mých vlasech prostě pracovala horkem neúnavně dál. Lidé se otáčeli, paní prodavačka mě probodávala zkoumavým pohledem. Pokladnou jsem prošla, z obchodu vyběhla.

Bylo 11,30 a já si vítězoslavně nesla do sprchového koutu v hrnci ohřátou vodu. Byl to boj dostat z hlavy zdrcnuté cucky – nyní již regulérního těsta. Když byly konečně vlasy čisté (nikoliv však bujné a zářivé), slyším rachocení klíče v zámku. Vrátil se Martin s dětmi. Hned spustil: “Teď jsem potkal na schodech sousedku, prej Vám tu chvíli netekla voda, ale už ji pustili. Tak ještě, že jsem byl s klukama pryč. A co Ty? Odpočinula sis?“

….v tu chvíli jsem se rozbrečela. Už nikdy nebudu psát do životopisů, že jsem flexibilní. Výzvu v podobě „no poo and no water“ jsem totiž rozhodně pružně a se ctí neustála. Své zkrášlující pokusy ale nevzdávám. Otto von Bismarck tvrdil: „Jenom idiot se učí z vlastních zkušeností“ ….a já teda idiot  rozhodně nejsem….no, na druhou stranu, kdo jiný by si ale na hlavu patlal žitnou mouku místo Gliss Kuru…..?

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  226. When I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the same comment. Is there a means you can remove me from that service? Thank you!

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  242. When I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. There has to be a way you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos.

  243. You’re so awesome! I don’t suppose I’ve truly read a single thing like that before. So nice to find somebody with some genuine thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that’s needed on the internet, someone with some originality.

  244. Your style is so unique compared to other people I have read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this page.

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  247. Howdy, There’s no doubt that your web site may be having browser compatibility problems. When I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, fantastic site!

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  249. Hi there, I think your site may be having web browser compatibility problems. When I take a look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, great blog.

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  256. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this site. I’m hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts by you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my very own website now 😉

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  259. May I simply say what a relief to uncover somebody who actually understands what they’re discussing over the internet. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people ought to look at this and understand this side of your story. I can’t believe you’re not more popular since you certainly have the gift.

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  262. You’re so interesting! I do not believe I’ve read through a single thing like this before. So wonderful to discover someone with a few original thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This site is something that’s needed on the internet, someone with some originality.

  263. When I initially commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks a lot.

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  267. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t fail me just as much as this one. After all, I know it was my choice to read, nonetheless I actually believed you would have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.

  268. Can I simply just say what a relief to discover someone who truly knows what they are discussing on the internet. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people ought to look at this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised that you aren’t more popular since you surely have the gift.

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  280. Hello there! This blog post could not be written much better! Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I’ll send this article to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a very good read. Many thanks for sharing!

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  290. This is the right site for everyone who really wants to find out about this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really will need to…HaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a topic that’s been discussed for a long time. Excellent stuff, just wonderful.

  291. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a friend who was conducting a little research on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast simply because I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this topic here on your internet site.

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  294. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog. I am hoping to view the same high-grade content from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own blog now 😉

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  310. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on this. And he actually ordered me lunch simply because I found it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending some time to discuss this matter here on your web site.

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