Couvání je moje hobby…

… pronesl můj tehdejší partner a zařadil zpátečku. Čímž nejprve uvedl svůj stařičký Favorit do pohybu směrem vzad ….vzápětí ale bohužel i prudce dolů. Tedy jen jeho zadní polovinu.

V konečném důsledku tak bylo auto přední částí na cestě, tou zadní pak na jedné z menších skalek, lemujících cestu. Čas se zastavil. Vůkol voněly šumavské hvozdy. Z nedaleké ohrady nás pozoroval překvapený skot. Pod námi zurčel potůček. V podstatě romantika v přímém přenosu…. a boží znamení v jednom. Hned zkraje dovolené uvízlo na mrtvém bodu auto, ke konci náš vztah. Až po letech mi došel pravý důvod rozluky.

Osvícení přišlo o celých osm let později.

Dostala jsem se do situace, kdy bylo nevyhnutelné zařadit zpátečku. A to doslova. Buď já, nebo přede mnou kolmo stojící auto. Pospíchala jsem. Nemělo smysl doufat, že paní v druhém voze učiní pohyb vzad. Soudě dle toho, že stejně jako já JAKO telefonovala, JAKO cosi hledala v kabelce, pak i v přihrádce. Prostě vyčkávala, až vyjedu já.  Umím být velice trpělivá, teď jsem ale vážně neměla času nazbyt.

Můj čistokrevný strach z prudkého couvání (mezi kaskádovitě umístěné garáže) se po 3 minutách čekání změnil v pouhý respekt, po pěti mi již narostla křídla. Zařadila jsem zpátečku, rozjela se dozadu a……dolů. Drcnutí. Asi nějaký výmol. No nic, teď už jen natočím volant a můžu vyjet. Jednička. Pouštím spojku, přidávám plyn. NIC. Víc plynu. NIC. Jen slyším, jak se protáčí kola. Motor auta řve, NIC. Nepohnula jsem se ani o píď. To už i mně bylo divné. Vystoupila jsem z auta, obešla jej a málem omdlela. Za bariérou plevele byla první nízká zídka oddělující garáže. A pod ní levé zadní kolo mého auta. Bylo mi jasné, že tohle je fakt průser. Chlap mě zabije.

V tom jsem si všimla, že mé počínání nevěřícně sledují tři pánové opravující o pár metrů dál pouliční lampu. Zamířila jsem k nim s výrazem ustrašené laně a hrané naivity. Tento výraz používám zejména při jednání na úřadech. Nutno přiznat, že s přibývajícím věkem čím dál méně účinně.  Tady to ale ještě díkybohu klaplo. Pánové neváhali a přispěchali na pomoc.

Obhlédli situaci a požádali mě o hever. Absolutně jsem nevěděla, kde by asi tak mohl být. Tušila jsem, že někde bude, ale kde? Když jej pak našli v kufru pod rezervou, ztrapnila jsem se navíc výkřikem „Jé, to je ono? Takovej malinkej“ (opravdu jsem čekala něco robustnějšího, má-li to udržet ve vzduchu těžké auto). Mlčky se na sebe podívali a dali se do práce. Auto vyheverovali, inkriminované kolo podložili rezervou, pak jeden z nich vyjel s autem na cestu. Celá akce jim trvala pouhé tři minuty. Byla jsem šťastná. Děkovala jsem jim i Bohu.

Jako bonus se mi navíc dostalo ujištění, že autu nic není, a že doma tedy nic říkat nemusím.  Rajská hudba pro moje uši. Přesto jsem se ale ještě třesoucím se hlasem zeptala, zda jsem si přeci jen nemohla třeba protrhnout „tu vanu“ (o něčem takovém pořád mluvil kdysi instruktor v autoškole).  To už ten nejstarší z nich přestal skrývat své opovržení a suše konstatoval: „Tak to můžete být, paninko, naprosto v klidu, ta je totiž vpředu.“

Tohle zpátečkové Déjà vu mi zpětně pomohlo vyřešit otázku, zda se přitahují protiklady nebo vrána k vráně sedá. Protiklady. Jasně. Bez jakýchkoliv pochyb. Tímto byl v podstatě i odhalen pravý důvod tehdejšího šumavského rozchodu. My DVA prostě byly jen dvě couvací vrány, co si na chvíli sedly vedle sebe na cestě životem.

Teď zbývá již jen nalézt odpověď na otázku, proč někoho chytrého dodnes nenapadlo opatřit couvací senzor i o funkci hloubkoměru? Promiňte, pokud ale výrobci nevidí takovouto díru na trhu, pak fakt nevím, jak mám já vidět všechny ty díry za sebou?

1 015 komentářů u „Couvání je moje hobby…

  1. Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  2. Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  3. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot approximately this, like you wrote the e
    book in it or something. I think that you just can do
    with some percent to force the message home a bit, but other than that, that is
    fantastic blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.

  4. I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

  5. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this outstanding blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!|

  6. Having read this I believed it was very enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this informative article together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!|

  7. Hi would you mind letting me know which web host you’re utilizing?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different
    browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
    Can you recommend a good internet hosting provider at a
    honest price? Kudos, I appreciate it!

  8. I’ll right away grasp your rss as I can not find your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly allow me know in order that I may just subscribe.

    Thanks.

  9. I am commenting to let you know of the fabulous encounter my cousin’s daughter experienced reading your site. She even learned many issues, not to mention what it’s like to have a wonderful giving mindset to have many people just grasp chosen grueling subject areas. You really exceeded our expectations. Many thanks for distributing the informative, healthy, educational and as well as easy thoughts on the topic to Jane.

  10. I enjoy you because of all your efforts on this site. Ellie enjoys doing internet research and it’s easy to see why. All of us hear all concerning the compelling means you deliver good information by means of the blog and as well cause contribution from other people about this concept plus my daughter is actually being taught a lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the new year. You’re the one carrying out a first class job.

  11. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an e-mail. I’ve got some creative ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.|

  12. I am only writing to make you understand what a superb experience our princess undergone viewing yuor web blog. She picked up such a lot of things, with the inclusion of what it is like to possess an ideal teaching style to make the others without hassle thoroughly grasp specified tricky topics. You undoubtedly surpassed visitors‘ expected results. Thanks for showing those valuable, trustworthy, revealing not to mention unique tips on your topic to Sandra.

  13. I’m just commenting to let you be aware of of the fabulous discovery my cousin’s daughter experienced going through your site. She even learned lots of issues, most notably how it is like to have a very effective giving mindset to have many others just gain knowledge of chosen grueling subject matter. You truly exceeded our own expectations. Thank you for offering these invaluable, safe, explanatory and even fun tips about this topic to Julie.

  14. Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Kudos!|

  15. Thanks for your own work on this website. My mum takes pleasure in setting aside time for research and it is simple to grasp why. We notice all relating to the powerful way you provide very important tips and hints via your website and therefore strongly encourage response from visitors on this theme while our own simple princess is without a doubt understanding so much. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. Your performing a useful job.

  16. I have to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog. I am hoping to view the same high-grade content from you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own, personal site now ;)|

  17. Thank you for your entire labor on this web site. My mom take interest in managing investigations and it is obvious why. My partner and i learn all regarding the lively tactic you produce simple things through your web site and in addition invigorate response from the others on the situation then our favorite princess is truly studying a whole lot. Take advantage of the rest of the year. You have been doing a superb job.

  18. I’ve been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet
    I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me.
    Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be a lot more
    useful than ever before.

  19. Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you
    get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you
    can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.

  20. Pingback: my dick on viagra
  21. Hi! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when viewing from my iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share. With thanks!|

  22. We’re a group of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with helpful info to work on. You’ve done an impressive activity and our entire group can be grateful to you.|

  23. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and
    it is time to be happy. I have read this post
    and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or advice.
    Maybe you could write next articles referring to this
    article. I wish to read even more things about it!

  24. It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and
    it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I desire to
    suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next
    articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!

  25. What i don’t realize is actually how you are now not really much more well-favored than you may be now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me personally imagine it from numerous numerous angles. Its like women and men aren’t interested until it is something to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. Always take care of it up!|

  26. I think this is among the most important info for me. And i am glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things, The site style is perfect, the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers|

  27. Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My website discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog by the way!|

  28. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.|

  29. I got this web site from my pal who informed me about this web page and at the moment this time I am visiting this web site and reading very informative articles at this time.|

  30. Hi there would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re using? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a reasonable price? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!|

  31. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely magnificent. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is actually a terrific website.|

  32. I do believe all the ideas you’ve presented to your post. They’re really convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too quick for starters. May you please extend them a bit from next time? Thank you for the post.|

  33. Whoa! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!|

  34. You’ve made some really good points there. I looked on the
    net for more information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.

  35. Right here is the perfect web site for anybody who hopes to understand this topic. You understand so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally will need to…HaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a topic that has been discussed for decades. Great stuff, just excellent!|

  36. Hello, Neat post. There is a problem along with your site in web explorer, might test this? IE nonetheless is the market leader and a good element of folks will leave out your great writing due to this problem.|

  37. I’ve been browsing on-line more than 3 hours lately, yet
    I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty price sufficient for me. Personally, if all webmasters and bloggers made excellent content as you
    probably did, the web shall be much more helpful than ever before.

  38. I will right away seize your rss feed as I can’t find your email subscription link or newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Please let me realize so that I may just
    subscribe. Thanks.

  39. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my agreement. Do you know any methods to help reduce content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.|

  40. Amazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Excellent choice of colors!|

  41. Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very helpful info specially the last part 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this particular info for a long time. Thank you and good luck.|

  42. I’ll immediately seize your rss as I can’t in finding
    your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you
    have any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I could subscribe.

    Thanks.

  43. You have made some really good points there. I checked on the web to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.|

  44. Pingback: azithromycin 500
  45. [url=https://orderzovirax.online/]zovirax cream[/url] [url=https://elitadalafil.online/]cheap generic cialis india[/url] [url=https://usalevitra.com/]generic vardenafil[/url] [url=https://prednisonemed.online/]preddisone no[/url] [url=https://antibioticsoverthecounter.online/]buy zyvox[/url]

  46. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
    I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest
    you few interesting things or advice. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.
    I desire to read more things about it!

  47. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s
    time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you
    few interesting things or tips. Perhaps you could write next articles referring
    to this article. I wish to read more things about it!