Tomášek (* 06/2014)

Dante Alighieri potřeboval téměř 14 let tvorby a 600 stran papíru, aby ve své Božské komedii vylíčil cestu poutníka a jeho průvodce – básníka Vergilia – z Pekla, přes Očistec až do Ráje. Žabař. Já to bravurně zvládám během jednoho jediného dne, někdy i několikrát a dokonce oběma směry.  Do rodiny nám totiž přibyl Tomášek. Blonďatý andílek, co se sice také umí občas vztekat a zlobit….ale tak nějak v četnosti a intenzitě „normálních dětí“……rodičovská s Tomíkem je prostě každodenní rychlovýtah do Ráje. Soužití s Martínkem sešup do předpeklí….takže já si pak tak nějak lítám jako ping-pongový míček sem a tam …..s občasným spočinutím v laskavém středním proudu obyčejného zemského žití. To když se kluci zrovna „naředí“.  Když vyrovnají své tlaky jako kapaliny ve spojených nádobách.

S Tomem jsem se najednou dostala do bluesového tempa. Už to těhotenství – pohoda. Žádný odběr plodové vody jako s Marťou, žádná překvapení. Porod? Brnkačka. Cestou do práce jsem se stavila u své lékařky v poradně. Ta mi řekla, že rodím, a ať se do hodiny dopravím do Jablonce. Což se snáze řekne, než udělá.  V té době jsem totiž za volant usedala jen 2x týdně a jezdila jednu jedinou naučenou cestu z domova do práce a zpět. Teď jsem měla jet takřka do neznáma. Jsem totiž čistokrevný směrový zmítač.  Dodnes třeba netrefím ke své babičce do Litoměřic.  Do Jablonce jsem vždy jezdila jen k přehradě a navíc jako spolujezdec.

Nemocnici jsem ale nakonec na třetí pokus našla…..zbývalo 20 minut času (z doktorkou odhadnuté hodiny). Pomalu jsem se dostávala ze zóny komfortu do spirály stresu. Srdce ekonoma ale promluvilo i v takovéto chvilce. Nezaparkovala jsem těsně u nemocnice na hlavním, placeném parkovišti, ale o kus dál, u garáží.  Cestou k hlavnímu vchodu mě zastavil starší pán s francouzskou holí a nabídl svou pomoc. Vzal si na rameno moji tašku. Já mu nesla hůl. Zavěšení do sebe jsme se vydali směr porodnice. Po dvaceti metrech začal pán umdlévat. Po třiceti se již o mně opíral, obtěžkán vahou mé tašky. Já tak ve finále nesla větší zátěž než na začátku a jako bonus mi překážela jeho hůl.  V tempu písničky  “….stoletý stařec a hluchý pes…“ (fanynky Dalibora Jandy vědí), jsme se došourali ke dveřím porodního sálu. Dodnes jsem ale neznámému pánovi vděčná. Před nemocnicí vysedávala na lavičkách spousta mladých mužů, ti se ale radši dívali jinam. Následně mi zdravotní sestra prozradila, že parkovné se u porodu neplatí. Můj dobrý pocit z optimalizace rodinného rozpočtu byl rázem fuč.  Pointa celé anabáze přišla na svět v 12,49 a měla míry 2480 gr a 45 cm ……jsem ráda, že oba kluci mě šetřili a vyrostli až na vzduchu.

Vše šlo prostě jako po másle. Ve finále mi tak nejvíc v paměti utkvěl právě ten den, kdy jsem se dozvěděla, že budu podruhé matkou. Už nikdy FEMME FATALE, ale už vždy „jen“ DOUBLE MAMMAN FATALE.

Jednoho zářijového večera začal Martínek naříkat, že ho bolí nožička.  Zanedlouho se již jen plazil. Nožička ho ne a ne udržet.  Když se ani ráno jeho stav nelepšil, domluvili jsme se s Martinem, že místo do práce pojedu s Martínkem na chirurgickou pohotovost.  No jo, ale jak? Od autobusu bych ho nedonesla, a autem jsem tehdy ještě moc nejezdila. Takže šup s Martínkem do kočárku a dvoukilometrový skoro běh setmělým Libercem do nemocnice.  V ordinaci jsem nahlásila: „Martin Petrželka, věk 18 měsíců, nemůže chodit, bolí ho noha. Neudrží ho“. Mladinký doktor nás s ustaraným výrazem okamžitě poslal o patro výš na rentgen. Než byly snímky zpracované, změnila se služba a mladinký doktor byl nahrazen prošedivělým  lékařem-zkušenářem. Ten přešel hned k věci.

„Proč jste byli na rentgenu“?

„Tady Martínek má problémy s nožičkou, tahá ji za sebou, trvá to od včerejšího večera“

„Opravdu?“, „Rentgen je naprosto v pořádku.“

„Opravdu, ráno se na ni ani nemohl postavit“

„Pojď sem, kluku, projdi se  támhle k paní sestřičce. Dostaneš od ní obrázek“

Sjela jsem doktora pohrdlivým pohledem.  Poslouchal mě vůbec? Jak by si asi tak to nebohé dítě mohlo dojít pro obrázek? Aha?

V tom vytřeštěným zrakem pozoruji, jak si Martínek vykračuje udaným směrem. Šel pevně a jistě, jen si povyskočit.  Po předchozím kulhání a „obrně“ ani památky. V ústech jsem měla sucho a v hlavě prázdno.

„Ale on, pane doktore, opravdu nemohl chodit, já si nevymýšlím.“

Doktor měl v očích vepsáno cosi nepěkného o hysterických prvomatkách. Byl ale očividně v dobrém rozmaru a rozhodl se dát mi ještě jednu šanci. „Tak, Martínku, pojď ke mně a ukaž mi, kde máš to své auvajs“  ….slovo „auvajs“ vyslovil schválně s dramaticko-ironickou intonací.

Věřila jsem, že Martínek hozené záchranné lano chytne a nepustí. Zklidnil se mi dech, červeň v tvářích počala ustupovat. Teď to přijde. Ukáže na pravou nožičku, jako tomu bylo snad dvacetkrát předtím, a zachrání mě před ostudou.  Ale ne. Martínek se těsně před panem doktorem zarazil, pozorně si prohlédl ručičky a po chvilce váhání mu ukázal ……..záděru na levém ukazováčku! Chtěla jsem být neviditelná. Vysublimovat. NEBÝT.  Pan doktor ale zachoval dekorum, i když koutky úst mu přeci jen cukaly: „Sestři, podejte mi, prosím Vás, náplast na ten prstíček, když už tu pacient čekal tak dlouho, tak to alespoň přelepíme.“

Za 3 hodiny poté mi gravitest ukázal dvě čárky.

„Rodiče jsou kosti, na kterých si děti brousí zuby“                                                  (Peter Ustinov)

 

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